Fugitive Monkey

The following is an excerpt from Episode 45 – The Slow Burn of Rejection. Listen to the whole episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

So all last week I was on vacation with my family in Florida. Of course, the entire trip was pretty uneventful, very chill, very nice. Nothing crazy, but within just 24 hours so much happened.

It was the last full day of vacation, so Jon and I wanted to get as much beach time in like as we could. We headed out to the beach at 9 a.m., one of the first groups of people on the beach. Jon and I are minding our own business in the water, just floating in the ocean, when we turn around and we noticed that two police officers in full blues are on the beach questioning a lot of people.

At first, we’re like, “Oh, cops are here! What are they doing?” But while they’re questioning people, the cops didn’t seem tense or in a rush, like they weren’t too concerned about whatever brought them to the beach. Just a pair of chill cops that eventually go on with their day.

It’s probably about 10 a.m. now, Jon and I are still minding our own business. We had cracked open a couple of cold ones and having a good old time.

Jon and I are talking with my back to the beach and he is facing the shore. We look over and I see coming across the beach is a person sitting in their inner tube with their arms hanging over a boogie board. Then I see something moving on the boogie board and I’m thinking that lady has her little dog out there.

We are taking a long look at the lady and her boogie board, when we suddenly see a skinny, curly tail like a cat’s. The closer and closer this lady gets to us, we get the full picture. No, it’s not a cat. It’s not a dog. It’s a freaking monkey. This lady has a monkey hanging out on a boogie board, casually floating through the ocean.

I am blown away. I have never seen a monkey in real life that isn’t like a part of some kind of gimmick. I have never seen a pet monkey. We can see that other people on shore are noticing the lady with the monkey as well. As the floating woman and her monkey make their way across the beach, people have their phones out there taking pictures of the monkey and the lady, and she doesn’t seem to mind.

I strike up a conversation with one of our fellow beachgoers, talking about how funny it all is. She starts talking about how it’s super crazy since the cops just left.

Those cops that were here were asking if anybody had seen a lady with a monkey.

First of all, you’re going to tell me that I am within a couple yards of a monkey, and then you’re going to tell me that that monkey is a fugitive from the law.

Unfortunately, there is no pretty wrap up to this story. I’m sorry to leave you with so many questions, but trust me – I’m as perplexed as you are.